Planning a Jewish Wedding & Finding The Perfect Ketubah Can Bring a Couple Closer!
Gilat Ben-Dor of KetubahSpirit.com shares her tips to help you and your fiance make the most of this amazing experience.
As it is, spirituality and the observance of tradition are both highly personal concepts. Add to that an element of artistic expression, as seen in the range of Jewish wedding ketubah styles available, and you now have an utterly individualized commemoration of a couple’s bond. When a couple embarks upon the ketubah selection process, they open up a new dialogue about their spiritual and artistic preferences. All of this further solidifies their identity as a couple.
David and Magda* (fictitious names to protect privacy) realized that they knew so much about each other, but until they began shopping for a ketubah together, it never occurred to them to discuss certain matters. “It was eye opening,” David said, “Like a journey of rediscovery with new information about each other.”
Making the Most of Your Ketubah Shopping Experience
It is important that both members of the couple know what the purpose of a ketubah is, and how it will be used in their marriage. Will this be the cornerstone of their union? Will this be a beautiful Judaic symbol in their home? Will this simply be an artistic decoration or memento from the wedding? There is no right or wrong response, but if the couple is not on the same page, there should at least be understanding and support of how each partner will view the shopping experience. As always, communication is key, and don’t be afraid to share your preferences with your partner, as detailed as they may be!
What if My Fiance & I Have Completely Different Taste?
If a couple were so homogeneous that they automatically had the same exact taste…there would be no excitement! Couples can celebrate their differences while still coming to a consensus even if they do not share the same tastes on ketubot designs at the outset. For instance, couples can compromise by allowing one partner to choose the design if the other feels strongly about a distinct type of text. They can also try to find overlapping styles that fit both of their tastes. Perhaps she likes traditional artistic ketubah themes depicting Jerusalem or pomegranates, and he has more of a contemporary or minimalist taste. Together, they might choose a ketubah design that is clean and modern while featuring stylized elements of such iconography.
With So Many Ketubah Text & Font Options, How Do We Choose?
Unless there is a designer or a real font fan among the couple, Galit recommends thinking about the content first and then picking out the font. Often, the type of message the couple wants to express will lend itself to a certain type of font and the choice becomes more natural at that point. For example, couples who wish to use a traditional Aramaic text tend to also enjoy fonts with a more archaic flourish, whereas couples that prefer to create their own vows may wish to choose a less conventional font to reflect their overall originality.
More Tips from Gilat
While many of us ketubah designers can accommodate rush orders, it is for the couple’s own benefit to set aside time and really savor the ketubah selection process together. This is one of the few traditions that so beautifully combines shared reflections about spirituality, religion, art, and love. When these elements merge during ketubah shopping, the couple continues to grow and bond.
-Gilat Ben-Dor, KetubahSpirit.com
Thank you Gilat for sharing your expertise and tips!
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